Today marks the third anniversary of my Grammie (Barbara
Boczanowski) who passed away. It
made me think about a ton of different things today. First was how lucky I feel
to have such an amazing angel watching over me. During my chemotherapy
treatment everyday’s a long struggle, physically and mentally draining. With
all of this the only thing I believe that gets me through this isn’t just my
support by friends and family but also those watching over me. My grandmother
was an amazing woman always helping others and involved in everything. One
thing she loved being a part of was The Catholic Daughters church group. I’m
not heavily into my religion but because of her I do believe she’s in heaven
with God watching over me. I feel so blessed to have such an angel. Another
thing that crossed my mind was what she thought of all of this. She didn’t live
to see me diagnosed and battling cancer but she’s in heaven watching down on me,
what could she possibly think of all of this? I thought of how much it saddens
her to know her 20-year-old granddaughter is battling leukemia. On the other
hand I reflected on how proud she would be of me. She must be so amazed by me
going through what I go through everyday. She would love how involved I am with
spreading cancer awareness and inspiring others. Mostly she would be so proud
of me for being a survivor. As much as I miss her I can’t help but to think
she’s there in heaven for a reason, to guide me through all of this. I can
fight as hard as I can but cancer is a disease that’s out of my control and
it’s a relief to know my grandmother is watching over me. I feel like anytime
my treatment has a difficult part I somehow amazingly always make it through
and I owe that all to my beautiful Grammie, my angel in heaven.
*My grandmothers from both sides of my family* to the right is Grammie, RIP<3
My Grammie isn’t the only angel I have though I have five others;
Kristie, Kaylee, Nahge, Seshu and Avalanna. In the past two years I’ve met so
many friends from The Jimmy Fund and the harsh reality is being a survivor you
watch a lot of your friends sadly pass away from cancer. It gets really frustrating
to see them fight so hard but lose their battle because of this terrible
disease. The Jimmy Fund is an amazing group we support each other like no other
and the bond is instant no matter gender, age, or type of cancer. It’s the
closest bond I’ve actually had with anyone. I’ve gained a lot from all of this
heartache however. I’ve been given a bigger reason to fight and a greater
reason to spread awareness. I miss all of my friends dearly and going into
clinic isn’t the same without their smiling faces. I like to believe I’m living
my life for them and they are all in return watching over me.
*picture of Nahge, Rachel & I*
